Up and down

Wow, its been a few days since my last post! If I'm honest its been a really rough few days. I was avoiding blogging as don't want to seem miserable but really the reason I do this is to look back on getting through the bad as well as enjoying the good.
I've mentioned about Marks physical health getting worse but his mental health has been in decline too. As a result his depression has got worse and he's been doing the typical guy thing of bottling it up then snapping at me. I get why he's depressed, it must be dreadful not to be able to trust your own judgement and know what is real and not real, and since he can only go out with me he doesn't leave the house often which doesn't help. On top of that I've not been feeling 100% either, I HATE not working, and often wonder what is going to happen as the kids get older. I love Mark, but being his carer for the rest of my life and never having a job or anything again feels kinda like a waste.
Anyway the weekend went by with mark mainly sleeping and me just getting through, then Monday it all blew up. Mark was snippy at me and I lost it and it went into a huge row. It was good though, we both got a lot off our chest and he's going to go to the dr and see if he can get some different anti-depressants and I'm going to make a list and try and do more about the house, clearing out the loft, emptying the garage etc. OK so its not a job but it will do a bit for now to make me feel like I'm doing something. God knows what the future holds for me but I'll manage I guess :)

On a lighter note Saturday morning was amusing. Mark took the kids into the bathroom to brush their teeth. Few minutes later I hear him shouting me. I go to see whats wrong and Cameron, for some unknown reason has shut the door and the handle is now stuck and they can't get out! I tried to take the handle off, pull it up, down, but nope it was stuck fast. I rung the council and asked if I could break the door down but the woman said (between giggles) that she'd have to send someone out to rescue them. The kids were having a great time playing with their bath toys so I sat in the peace with a cup of coffee. Most relaxed I'd been in ages, should lock them in the bathroom more often :p Well about an hour later a guy comes and........breaks down the door, well I could have done that! Poor marks standing there in a t-shirt and his super hero pants lol. So now we have no door handle. No idea when they'll replace it but there you go. Was a bit of drama to wake everyone up anyway.